Monday, April 22, 2013

The Pressure on the Parent

    These days I feel so much pressure on myself about raising my daughter.  There is so much I want for her and then so much she Has to know.  I stress about this as every parent does.  I pray daily and wonder what else can I be doing?  I want her to know, love, trust, and have a relationship with God above all else.  I want her to have morals, ethics, manners, know right from wrong, be street smart and book smart, to be independent, but trusting, loving, caring, compassionate. giving, a great work ethic, and to be able to relax and play, enjoy a good book, have fun with friends, know how to be alone....and I could keep going but you get the idea.  Poor girl right?!  By the time kids are in Kindergarten they have to know so much more than we did.  There is so much I want for her.  I have no idea how to do any of it.  I try and take it day by day but then I always wonder what else I could have done.  Did I play with her enough? Did I teach her enough today?  Is she with all her classmates?  Why is she not holding the pencil correctly yet?  Is there a book that teaches that?  I mean seriously people she's 3.  See what I mean...poor girl.
    I grudgingly admit that she got a yellow light last week.  I was upset for her.  She didnt listen when it was time to come in from the playground.  I am sure any normal person would say oh well try better.  Me.  Not so much.  We had a long discussion about it last week and then again today.  I want her to respect her elders and authority and know that they are trying to do whats best for her.  Again shes 3 and I keep reminding myself of this.  She is consumed with winning at everything right now.  I tell her daily that winning is not everything, its just a game, it matters that you tried your best, and no eating the fastest is not good.  I know right now I am talking to a wall but I hope if I keep saying it that eventually when it matters that she will remember.  I pray she never knows how much pressure I put on myself to try and do right by her.  I want her to have an amazing child hood and an even better life.  I read too much.  I think too much.  But always turn to God for help, asking him to guide me to train her up in the way she would go.  I want to shelter her but expose her.  I want her to know there is tragedy in the world but there is way more good.  There are always helpers.  I want her not to be as socially awkward as I am.  I want her to make friends and keep them but be willing to let go if it needs to.  I want her to be a well rounded adult with a good foundation.  I want what every parent wants.  How do you do it?  Any tips or tricks you can share?  I pray to let go and let God because it is in His capable hands.  I can just try my best.  =)
Whitney

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