So today is my very first day to not have plans/ appointments already made while my daughter was at school. I was elated at the thoughts of what I could do...by my self...alone...in a quiet house. The possibilities are endless in my mind. The first thing I think of is to clean out closets, its that time of year and it needs to be done, next on the list is read a book, then nothing. Just do nothing and enjoy quiet. Yea well I am not sure I can do that anymore. Anyway, I did none of the above. I did my bible study homework. Well 3 days so far. My homework is important to me because I feel with bible study, you get out of it what you put in to it. Totally just my opinion. I know times get busy, there is lots going on, etc. I just try to make it a point to do my homework to spend that time with God and His word. So I did. Alone. Just me and God. He did some serious work in my head this morning.
My sweet husband and I are *trying* to do a small group at church. It has been going for two weeks, and he made it yesterday. The kiddo and I stayed home. She has some allergies going on right now and I just wanted to do what is best for her. Moving on, they let us watch the videos we had missed. It is about prayer circles. Praying circles around what you are asking God to do in your life. The leader/narrator of the video asked what is your Jericho? I have been thinking about that and the reality that I am not very good about praying for all the specifics in my life. So this is already on my heart. This blog is on my heart. In comes my bible study of Jonah and the interrupted life. Well the ending of day 3 homework is reminding us that if it feels too big and overwhelming for us, it is. He needs us to rely on Him. Next is that if he calls us to it, He will equip us. The third is that he has prepared the way for us. He is waiting on our obedience for us to step out in faith and let Him be shown. We don't know what he has done before us. But we need to obey and it will matter. To someone. This brought me to tears. Our minds get in our way more than anything else I can think of at this time. We tell ourselves so many lies. We stop our selves from doing what needs to be done. I can think of so many examples of this in my own life, it is sad to me. I am learning day by day, study by study, step by step, to walk in faith.
Here is my best example for you. When my daughter was born, I thought because I was try to breast feed her that the baby weight I had gained would just fall off. I have struggled with weight my whole life. I have lied to myself my whole life. I have believed the lies told to me my whole life. But suddenly because I had this wonderful child, and I was trying to do what I thought was the best thing for her, weight would just come off. Ha!!!! I struggled to make milk. Well, there goes that plan. I had to come to terms with supplements for her. I still tried. For four or so months I tried and I cried. I think at 6 months I just gave up. Well, by the time she was 9 months old, I was probably the heaviest I had been in my life. I hated myself with more passion and fervor than were really necessary. I had two wonderful people offer to help me get started with weight loss. I started nutri-system. It went well. I lost some weight. I was getting closer to my goals. I started working out. Little bit at a time. I started zumba. I loved it but as my daughter got more active, I did not have/make the time needed for it. I started doing Jillian Micheal s workouts. Loved them. Good exercise and good amount of time without being too long. Then my husband lost weight. He started doing P90x. He did it twice. He then started being a coach for beachbody. That is the company that makes P90x, Insanity, TurboFire, Tai Cheng, 10 Minute Trainer and more. Well, I saw the ad for 10 Minute Trainer. I loved it, did it twice, same thing with turbo jam (except I only did it once). Now I am doing Tai Cheng and looking forward to starting Les Milles Combat when I am done with Tai Cheng. We eat healthy meals, make menus, buy groceries accordingly, track calories, and try very hard to lead a healthy life style. We did not diet. We made a life style change. It happened slowly. Every time I work out, there is a voice in my head. You cant do that. You are not strong enough to do that. You cant. You wont. Isn't easier just sleep in or sit down and watch tv? Every day, I have to remind my self that that voice is a lie. I am strong enough. I can do it. I have more energy, a MUCH happier demeanor, I feel better, more centered, more at peace. If I had let that voice in my head win, I probably would not be writing this blog, I could have given in to the easier way of life. I get up early and workout when I take my daughter to school. I take time that could have been used to clean out closets, read a book, do nothing, and I do bible study. I take time to write this. Because God has a plan. He has equipped me to do it. I am stronger in the places I have been broken. It will matter to someone. I will matter to someone. Just because I cannot see the path, I will follow it. I need God. I rely on God. He has called me to pray today. To take all the things I have been thinking of and pray. What has he called you for today? What are you asking Him to do for you today?
Whitney
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