So in this past month, my world has really been turned upside down. With my mom being so sick, basically we have been to the hospital, to home, to the hospital, to the grocery store, to the hospital, to home. Christmas came and went and my mom is still in the hospital. New Years' same thing. Since school stopped, my poor child has basically had mommy, daddy when he is home from work, and back and forth from the hospital. She is going crazy. I am going crazy. My house is a never ending mess it feels like. I feel so spread thin that I don't even know what to do with myself. And worse is that when I sit still I feel guilty because I know my poor dad is going even more crazy than I am. I want/need to take care of my family and my responsibilities, but I want to be at the hospital for my mom, try and help my dad when he will let me, keep everyone updated on my moms condition, and in the midst of this my incredible husband studied basically nonstop since Christmas for his hardest certification yet. Dear Lord, I am tired. I need just a few minutes of peace and quiet, and also a clean house would be nice. I will even clean my house if I could have someone entertain or be entertained by my child for a few hours. God is so good. He has been our rock through this whole ordeal. My faith has been tested and grown during all of this.
It's very easy to fall into the woe is me thought when things are not going as planned, or not going well. My entire family has been lifted up by prayer, faith, friends, love, and God. This season has taught us all something. Definitely to be thankful for our health and the loved ones that surround us. I have been truly amazed and encouraged and lifted up by the outpouring of love and prayers that are coming our way. It is such a Godly awesomeness. So why do I feel so beat down, well a month of this will take its toll on anyone. I am not trying to complain or whine. Really I think I would just feel better if I had a clean house. I do so much better when my house is clean. Next week, my little one is back in school so that will make me feel better when at least she is getting to interact with other kiddos again. Luckily for her, she got some pretty awesome and entertaining things for Christmas. I know life will not just go back to normal for us from this point, but it will feel more normal when I get to run to my parents house to visit and help out. Hospitals are just draining I think. Thats what it feel like right now anyway. It will get better. God is good, faithful, never ending, never leaving. I thank all who have thought and prayed for us. We have a long way to go, but we are hopeful in Him.
Whitney
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