I have discovered/ known that I am much better with words on paper than the ones that spill from my mouth. My "filter", if you will, works much better on paper. I think about what to say, how to say it, and what kind of a purpose it may have. Lately, I have had a lot of words to say but I just didn't feel that call to write it out to the world. A big part of me wonders if it is just my fear again. Then words just keep coming up. Today in my devotional. It was about emotions and our words when we are emotional. Todays bible study. The words moved me. By the way, we have moved on to Nehemiah by Kelly Minter. Very good so far. Some of the ladies had a chance to hear her speak last night. I hear it was wonderful. I did not go as I was playing forts with my daughter. =) Anyway, I was reminded of James. He says what is in your heart comes out of your mouth. I am of course summarizing here, but you get the gist.
Words have always been my sharpest weapon, and my weapon of choice. Sarcasm was overflowing when I was growing up. I was a natural at it. Then when I worked in restaurants, well every word was usually peppered with bitterness, sarcasm, sometimes hatred, lots of anger, but always a hardness or edge to it. I found myself hardened at people, troubles, life, and just about everything around me. Words were just words. Things I never imagined I would be saying just poured out of my mouth and I really thought nothing about it. We have all said things we wish we hadn't. We all wish people had not said certain things to us. Words can cut, deeper than any knife, sword, or gunshot ever could. But you cannot "un"say words. Once they are out there, they are there. You can apologize, ask for forgiveness, and many things to make up for it. But they were said. You cant take it back. So why are we not more careful with our words?
Just as words can tear you down, they can build you up, give you courage, help to encourage, express love, compassion, happiness, joy, peace, sadness, sorrow, and more but without hurting someone else. So often we say things that truly do not need to be said. Sometimes we speak too much about one thing. We "beat dead horses". I remember growing up, we were traveling and "disagreeing" about something. I think my sister said "You are beating a dead horse" and I think my dad said "My horse isn't dead yet"! I still laugh about that. We think we still have a point to make but we have gone wwwaaaayyyy past it. Words are so much more important than we give them credit. Justin and I started doing a new small group at church about the 5 love languages. I was not shocked to be told that most important to me are words of affirmation. I knew it in my heart but have never been "told" like that. People in general like to hear good things. I do. I did not have a lot of affirming words growing up. There were some. I treasured those. But it was only as an adult that I realized how deep the wounds of words that were spoken and the ones left unspoken and how quickly they can be reopened. I want to build up the people around me. I want my husband to know how truly inspiring, wonderful, smart, caring, grateful, thankful, and spirited he is. I want my daughter to know how her smile lights up a room, how beautiful she is inside and out, smart, funny, joyous, charismatic she is. I want to build up the people around me. I want the good in my heart to flow out of my mouth. I struggle sometimes, especially with my sarcastic and snarky side that wants to rise up sometimes, but I find myself trying to hold my tongue. I have spoken plenty of harmful and hurtful words, now I want them to be uplifting, inspiring, meaningful and loving words. Your words make a difference. What will they say?
Whitney
No comments:
Post a Comment