Saturday was my birthday. I turned 35. Once upon I have have been embarrassed and ashamed to tell and admit that. I am not now. Many things have changed over the last few years one of which is my outlook on birthdays. I heard someone say in passing something to the effect of you should celebrate your life and that fact that you have a birthday. I had been sad over birthdays since I turned 25. Ten years later I am good with it. I do celebrate my birthday and my life. It has taken a lot to get where I am today. I am happy. Truly and utterly happy. I love my life. I (perhaps for the first time ever) love myself. I love my family fiercely. I love my God and Praise HIM for where I am today and my outlook. EVERYTHING I have I have because of HIM. I am 35 and I am the most confident, strong, fit, and healthy I have ever been. Am I the skinniest person on the block...um no but who wants that anyway?! I am healthy and strong. I no longer let my past define me. I don't dwell on the past. I look back and think of the lessons I have learned and want to pass along. Then I move on. I am learning more on forgiveness and I'm excited about learning it. This is the best relationship with God I have never imagined. He is truly a wonderful, forgiving, merciful and loving God. I have the most wonderful relationship with my husband I could imagine. He just gets me and I get him. He is truly my soul mate, my lobster. I don't know what I would do without him. My daughter is incredible. I want to do my best for her every single day. I want to help her yet let her help herself. I want to guide her in the right direction and learn. She is independent and strong. She is funny and smart and beautiful inside and out. She has the most empathetic heart. Her caring is incredible. She has a love of life and God. She shines daily. Even when she is sad. I want to do as much for her as I can without doing too much if you know what I mean. She has to learn some things on her own. I want her to know she can come to be about anything and know that I love her always. I want to support and help her learn to support herself. So many things I want to go on about for her. But moving on. I am so thankful for my parents and the relationship we have. If you had told me 10 years ago this is how it would be, I would have laughed in your face and called you a straight up liar. I NEVER imagined it but God does that. He works wonderfully and beautifully because His plans are greater than ours. Thank God for that. Seriously. I love my parents and cant imagine what it would be like now to not have the relationship not just with my but with my husband and my daughter. They are amazing. I love them so dearly. My sister and her whole family. I miss them horribly and they can not get home soon enough but I treasure them. Each of them. I could go on. Yes more than this. =)
I am blessed. I thank God. I am not saying my life is perfect. I have my struggles daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and some days even minutely. But I have learned not to let these things get the best of me, to pray, to lean on God, to stay optimistic, and that I have my sad, down, yucky days. But they pass. When I fall into those rabbit holes of self pity, self loathing, just debbie downer in general, I have people to help lift me up, let me be, and encourage me. My life has turned out in ways I never thought possible. And I could not be more grateful. Embrace who you are and what you offer today. It will surely put a smile on your face and maybe someone elses too. Remember that God has given us everything we need.
Whitney
